where is my msn friend

Today I try to find someone to chat online but I log on my msn I just realise no one is available. How sad am I try to find somebody to talk. Where is my friend? With the new technology msn is not a famous channel which can use for chating. Now can use whatapps, through FB or viber etc...wechat...with Iphone you can easy get someone to talk to.
    I miss out most of my close friend. Too long not connet with them and also not drop by to say hello. I not sure what happen to myself. Always fill my time with work, learn new skills , explore to new places-move to environment. With new environment I able to meet new friends. Life like never ending. Can I describe my life with full of uncertainly and challenging things are waiting for me?
    I not sure if this is what I want. I quite lost. What happen to me? Am I running away from what I am with all the person I know? I just want to be an ordinary girl/lady to enjoy my life. Can I?
    Today my hubby try to find fault on me just because of stupid driving license. What is the big deal? If I dont convert my Msia license to SG license and request to sit for the test in Australia? Why make it like the world is ending? Small little thing like this will make my hubby keep on saying he told me before in earlier. But in fact I move here 2 years and I haven't stable down yet with all this new life challenges. I try to be reasonable and independence, live positively. I come here to live with my belove one not come here to work as slave for others. Who can really understand if your belove cant understand how you feel. Nobody in this world can help me including my parent, hubby or any others peoples. I only depend myself. I think this is the true meaning of life. I need to stay into this stage forever. No true relationship in this world, everyone is wearing mask to be nice with you.
     I try not to think so negatively but in fact this is the real me when I think of this way.I can only trust myself. I the one can give myself satisfaction, true about myself.
     God please allow me to carry this personality , stronger my belief and accept my dream..I sick of try to be good lady. I want my own characters back!